Broccoli

I don't like broccoli. It is:

BAD

Tastes like trees.

Crayons

I was that jerk in second grade who had the set of 700 crayons, all neatly organized in a box with a little crayon sharpener lodged in the backside. And I never shared, because I knew some dick would break my crayons or sharpen them excessively just for the sheer pleasure of destruction. I loved my crayons...

Crayons are:

GOOD

Don't forget to peel back the wrapper before sharpening.

Butter Churns

I grew up on a farm, and my mother always had me make the butter because she had a bad back. I hated it back then, but now that I live in the city and haven't churned butter in so long, I have very fond memories of the peaceful barn in the morning, as the chickens were just raising their eyelids.

In retrospect, I'd say butter churns are:

GOOD

I did not grow up on a farm.

Hand Dryers

On the front panel, they try to convince you why hand dryers are good (because they know everyone hates them). "Hand dryers reduce paper waste, energy costs, and are more sanitary than paper towels." Well, they also don't work. So you may as well use a rock to dry your hands. It would have all the same environmental/cost/cleanliness benefits.

Hand dryers are (for lack of a more terrible word):

BAD

This dryer's actually pretty cool. You press the button; it serves you bacon.

Washers

I have absolutely no idea what they do, but they appear in pretty much every piece of furniture/plumbing/electrical equipment ever. So they must be:

GOOD

According to Wikipedia, washers are "normally used to distribute the load of a threaded fastener." That's cool.

Turkey

I love eating turkey sandwiches, and a big fat turkey on Thanksgiving. Also, I've heard turkeys feel no pain and can turn invisible at any moment. Turkeys are:

GOOD

Note: This turkey is partially invisible.

Lapel Pins

I don't understand the point of them (no pun intended). What are pins for in the first place? And what further purpose do pins on one's lapel serve? And what do you call that flower you put in your tuxedo before prom? Lapel pins are:

BAD

Answer: boutonniere.

Castles

They're so cool. Castles are:

GOOD

God, they are so cool.

Last Names

Without last names, we wouldn't know Chris Kattan from Chris Farley, Elvis Presley from Elvis Costello, or even Martin Short from Martin Luther King. So last names are:

GOOD

(I think Martin Short is the one in the top picture.)

Conversation Hearts

Here's a special Valentine's Day treat for you.

Yes, they taste like chalk. Yes, the messages are lame, especially when they try to be hip and modern (FAX ME! I don't own a fax machine, I can't fax you, sorry dude). But somehow, whenever I am handed a box of Sweethearts, I eat them. So I guess they're:

GOOD

There's nothing romantic about EMAIL. Not even "You've Got Mail" with Tom Hanks.

Tom Hanks is the man.

Yogurt

It tastes good, it's good for you, it makes you feel really good, and it looks pretty good too. Yogurt is:

GOOD

Do you like frozen yogurt?

Dirt

Dirt is crucial to the growth of plants. Without plants, we'd all die. However, I am not a plant, and dirt tastes:

BAD

It also gets everywhere, like on your shirt.

Mallomars

Mallomars are:

GOOD

I love Mallomars.

Rock'em Sock'em Robots

I know I'm going to get a lot of criticism for this one, but I have to give these guys a:

BAD

The concept is great, the robots look pretty awesome, and it's always fun to punch your friends. The problem is that the actual gameplay just kind of sucks (and is also incredibly boring). All you disagreers, go find this game, play it, and try telling me blue doesn't win every single time.

Peanuts

Whether referring to the legume or to the comic strip, the verdict is a resounding:

GOOD

Unless you are allergic. Then it's bad.

About "Good or Bad?"

Here at "Good or Bad?", our mission is simple. We just tell you if something is good or bad. Other review websites will give you pages of useless information and opinions, but here we believe in the importance of delivering the bare facts.

For instance, Casablanca, Mother Teresa, and bunnies would all be declared "good," while global warming, genocide, and Juno would be "bad." See, it's simple!

We encourage you, the people, to submit subjects that you wish to have reviewed. Once you submit your request, you can just sit back, relax, and "Good or Bad?" will do all the necessary research. We will then post whether the subject is "good" or "bad."